“Oh, uh… You stepped out through the backdoor. That… usually doesn’t happen.”

       The handsome lady-killer bouncer offers you a gorilla, white you politely refuse, as you’re trying to give up smoking.

       “I suppose everything was a bit overwhelming, wasn’t it? The lack of lesbian sex, the lack of sex with lesbians, the lack of lesbians, in general. I can sympathise. You know, we grew up reading Moonlight Flowers, and our first ever paid writing gig was for lesbian content in particular—but we never really wrote any sapphic content after that.”

       The handsome lady-killer bouncer offers you a polite, but warm smile, which you accept as the healthier alternative to smoking.

       “Well, since you came out here to see me, I’ll give you my name. My name’s Dietrich, but you can call me Dancer. I’ll let you back into the website, too… You said you were over 18, right? Come check back with me any time. Now that you know your way around the place, you can come out for a real Silent Hill experience any time.”